I Spent All Day Looking At Graphic Design Websites

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Dudes Who Fell the Fuck Off: Cary Elwes

Photo Courtesy of http://www.gtsav.gatech.edu/students/studentcenter/archive/bbarchive/july07.html

I feel almost bad about doing this one. If you were a teenage girl anytime during the 90's you had the hugest boner for this dude. Cary Elwes, better known as Wesley of Princess Bride fame, is basically famous for giving girls that first funny feeling in their swimsuit areas. A total sexy sub (I still dream about dudes saying 'as you wish' to me), he sort of disappeared off the face of the earth, to leave us pining for the day our prince charming would return.
And return he did, 20 extra pounds and a bad horror movie franchise heavier. To be fair, time can be a cruel mistress but has it seriously been that long? While the man on the left possesses such golden, youthful beauty you can practically feel the flutter of angel wings about him while sweet perfume clings to the air, the one on the left looks like he's trying to convince you to come back to his condo to 'show you his sheet music.' Sigh. As you wish.

Lil Wayne: Musician, Philanthropist, Total Pussy Charmer

Last night, journalist and vice-presidential career ruiner Katie Couric interviewed Lil Wayne for the Grammies. They did all the things you'd imagine doing with Lil Wayne. They went bowling, went on a journey through his face, hung out at her office, and then somewhere along the way possibly drank some sizzurp and smoked a fuck ton of weed.
What surprised me most about her interview first, is how astonishingly charming Wayne is. In the interview he always referred to her as “Miz Katie” and almost teared up talking about the aftermath of Katrina on his hometown of New Orleans. He was a honor roll student! A for totes adorable! It seems that Wayne, like most scary dudes with face tattoos, has a total case of Pretty Woman syndrome. A gangsta with a heart of diamond encrusted platinum indeed. The second thing, which is little less surprising knowing LigerBeat-y bitch I am, is how much I totally want to bang Lil Wayne now. Not only does he have a total case of crazy eyes, which is sort of my favorite flavor at the moment, but he’s fucking hilarious!
Lil Wayne's crazy eyes
The last 4 minutes are peppered with nuggets such as this one, when asked about his love of the green. “I am rapper, Miz Katie, and a gansta. I do what I want. And I love to smoke,” which he says he does now for “medical reasons.” I nearly busted my shit when he does the weather report. Forecast looks wet and fucking horny! So in the tradition of dudes we’d totally let stick it in us, Lil Wayne, we drop these panties for you!


More From Our Box!

Thanks Jessica Delfino for sharing your magic!

From Our Box To Yours!

Horny Humorist Vivi Goodwin sent us this clam slapper:
"Yesterday I was at the sex store and saw a really cool set of dildos. Inside the box it had three different life-like dongs representing three different nationalities. There was the Asian dildo which was about 4 inches long, the African dildo which was an impressive 10 inches long, and the Caucasian dildo which was labeled as being 7 1/2 inches long, but was really only 6."
Keep 'em cummin' labies.


Yesterday after an awesome, productive, and dick fueled weekend spent in Richmond, VA, the NY LigerBeat ladies and I found ourselves where else but in a bar, waiting for the Chi-town bus to come whisk us home. While we were there, King Silverfox Anderson Cooper's tv show came on, which led to a discussion about the Gays We'd Like to Fuck. Normally, LigerBeat is all about giving you the finest in straight, pussy-hungry dick, but these mens totally make us wet in our buttginas.

Anderson Cooper

King of all Silverfoxes and the hottest man in news broadcast next to John Stewart, A. Coops has it all. Not only does he have some amazingly hot Brazilian boytoy, but he also happens to be filthy, disgustingly rich. A Vanderbilt on his mothers side, Cooper descended from old money before breaking into journalism. And gay or straight, gettin' that money is always a good look.

Tom Ford

Tom Ford is probably the only human being on the planet who likes dicks as much as we do, and for that we love him. A recent essay by him in GQ Style sums up our feelings precisely.
"As much as I've tried, it has been consistently harder to get images of nude men onto magazine pages and billboards than it has nude women. In a society where images of brutal violence are consumed during breakfast, the male nude is one of our last taboos. There's a double standard at play here: magazines that are happy to fund ads featuring an artfully lit female nude will balk at an image of her male counterpart."

Rock Hudson

One of the most gorgeous men ever to walk the planet, Rock Hudson was also unfortunately also one of the first highly visible men to die of an AIDS related illness. His love of the D well known in Hollywood circles, he was reportedly rumored to have fucked half of the University of Kentucky's football team before revealing he was ill in 1985. By being the first celebrity to acknowledge contracting the disease, his suffering changed the public perception of AIDS and brought greater awareness and understanding to the epidemic. Rock Hudson, we wrap this one up for you.

And there we have it, the Gay's We'd Like to Fuck!


Fuck me like a dinosaur

fuck me like a dinosaur
fuck me till you hear me roar
fuck me till my pussy's sore
fuck me till i scream for more
You are a pterodactyl and i want to fuck you
lay me on my backtyl i want to fuck you
fuck me with your Dino dick
fuck me with your fossil stick

lyrics by the boner killers: Richmond's finest

Ligerbeat frontline dick soilder

Ligerbeat: Richmond and NY dickfest

The ladies arrived Friday with dick on their minds and raising money in their hearts. Being a pornographer is by far the greatest job any cock ravenous woman could ever have. We would like to thank everyone for coming out and showing support. We would like to thank all the dicks fit for print and our lovely intern Emily who build us necessary things like dick pinatas and dick cakes.

Hurry up and place your orders for the first issue of Ligerbeat. It would be selfish of us not to share.

So this was the first porno party I've ever thrown. I wasn't quite sure what a porno party should consist of so I bought what I like to have at parties. Lots of candy, cake,streamers,balloons, Lots of dicks, European Bartenders, Prizes to hand out for liger worthy individuals and booty music. Boners were popping and locking from left to right. R Kelly was bumping and dry martinis were the drink of choice. We danced until 2am and I can't even remember where the rest of the night went. Porn Empire here we come. We've got boners full of candy and we are taking over.

posing with penis2 photos by Meghan Wagner