7.17.2009

7.16.2009

Submit That Shit

Ligerbeat needs your help!


Lend us a hand!!

Have you ever thought, Why me?
Hilarious, embarrassing, or a little of both, share your one of a kind sextales with other ladies who love the d.


Lend us a dick!!!

Send us a soft and hard picture of your dick!! We want to see that progress.
Or
Just send us your dick! Give us something to work off of.


Lend us a skill!!

Do you know computers? We need web help….. Let’s make porn more accessible to the ladies.
Can't wait to see your dick!

I'm Mos Def Trying to hit that


So the other night I was getting Blazed and was listening to the new Mos Def album for the 100th time. I have always been a huge fan of this dark chocolate drumstick since his early rhyme'n dayz. As a brown skinned sister with her roots twisted deep in punk rock and rap I am feeling the album almost as much as I'm trying to feel up on Mos D's. So I thought hey I'm a balla why don't I just book him for a private show. So I smoked a bit more then wrote his booking agent. Here is his reply and my response.
(this is the short email I got from his booking agent)
subject to change --
Mos Def
$275,000 - $325,000 plus all costs.

Please advise if you would like to proceed with this artist - or if you would like to consider lower priced alternatives

(my response)
I wrote that email when I was high and listening to the new album (which is really tight by the way). I am glad you wrote back because it completely slipped my mind.I own a store, a magazine and a venue but that would be all my savings. So if I pay the $325,000 dollars what does that include. Does he come with his own weed or do I have to supply it? Is there any cunnilingus included? Does he do any R Kelly Covers? Does he know R Kelly? Would he be interested in being interviewed for my magazine Ligerbeat? Well if he is interested in being interviewed for my magazine then I am more than interested in getting the ball rolling for booking this event.

p.s

Does he have any problems with performing in front of an all female audience Porky Pig Style bottomless. Please get back to me ASAP before my calender fills up again. Have a great day.


Masonroseless
www.ligerbeat.com

I like this pic cause I like my man to have a bit of hood in him.
http://www.tvoneblogs.com/thespin/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/mos_stomptokyo.jpg

Crazy costume contest tomorrow night!

Yo 'Beaters!

Tomorrow night there is a raging boner of a costume contest going down at The Bell House. Cash prizes for most peculiar costumes, free Brooklyn Brews from 8-9, and at the judge's table we have Ligerbeat's very own Calisha Jenkins! We'll also be flippin' them mags, so stop by, say hi, and cop yourself an ish.

7.14.2009

Ligerbeat needs your help for our upcoming issues!



Lend us a hand!!

Have you ever thought, Why me?
Hilarious, embarrassing, or a little of both, share your one of a kind sextales with other ladies who love the d.

Lend us a dick!!!
Send us a soft and hard picture of your dick!! We want to see that progress.

Or

Just send us your dick! Give us something to work off of.

Plus

Wanna get elbows deep in dick?
Desperately Seeking Dickterns!
Sick at web design?
Run shit in photoshop?
super nasty at word?
that's right i know you are nasty at word.

Ligerbeat needs you, send us an email and lend us a palm, please. ligerbeat@gmail.com

7.12.2009

Accidental Strip Club Orgasm


So this weekend I packed my bags and took the bus from Virginia to NY. I got smoked the fuck out then took two sleeping pills and a seat on the Chinatown bus. I arrived in NY at 7am and I took a cab to my girl Drea's house. Most of the day was a blur. There was lots of pot smoke, chilling with pitbulls in a tattoo shop, drinking coffee and starring at all the dudes I want to fuck while chilling in Brooklyn. I made sure that I met up with Christian at the Vice office and dropped some LigerBeat gold on some desks. Christian tells me "It's amazing the amount of people you can fuck in this town". I consider a move.

A few shots of whiskey and some pbr and I am on a train meeting up with the famous Calisha Jenkins. Calisha has an eye infection and is wearing an eye patch, I hit the floor laughing when I see her ass. That shit was so funny. Drea and I get dressed and head down to the Wednesday night dance party at Happy Endings. I love this party. I fucking love the boys from Ninja Sonik and any chance to see Jasmine is worth coming out. I was really confused at first why every dude looked like Spike Lee "Do the right thing" era but I guess that is the style. Drea and I work it out on the dance floor and rode home covered in sweat.

I rolled out the next day to go to Philly to chill with my sister. So I'm in my sisters spot watching Lord of the Rings talking shit about dudes when my sister goes. " I think the bar down the street has male strip dancers tonight". I quickly jump up and we speed walk there. I walk in the bar and I am changed. It was fucking crazy, beautiful black men everywhere. And the costumes were sick I tell you. The dicks on these dudes were out of this fucking world. The smallest dick had to be 10 inches. I thought this one dude had a cowboy costume on with a gun holster and then I realized it was his actual dick. My sister and I took the best seats we could find. Almost immedietly there was hot ass dudes all over us. This one guy Nitro came up to my sister and grabbed her hands and slid them in his pants. I couldn't stop text messaging people I couldn't believe my sister the lawyer was jack'n off some stripper. I actually saw one dude do a back flip and land on this woman. THE CROWD WENT WILD. I heard one woman say "If I was wearing a dress I know I would be fucking one of these dudes on the floor". Then this guy came up to me and started rubbing on me. He lifted my legs up around his neck then he picked me up like a kid on their parents shoulder in a amusement park, then he simulated going down on me while he grinded to Prince. And all that for 2 bucks. It was heaven I could only handle one hour of it. It was just to amazing. I will end this with some wisdom from my sister.

" Who needs a boyfriend when you have male strip night every Thursday".

Masonroselee

Put Em On The Payroll

If there is one thing that I love it is a half naked dude. If there is one thing that I love even more than a half naked dude it is a half naked dude painting a mural on my store. Here is a front and back shot of a potential liger.

DSC07440 by you.

DSC07439 by you.

Ligernation always looking out for my homies.

Masonroselee