Would you consent to poop sex if...?

So my friend Eric has this friend (who will remain anonymous) who I think could be the ultimate LigerBeat model and perhaps a Grade-A fuck. I have never met him but apparently he is mega fine and hung like a horse. Mega rad, right? Except for one catch – homeboy is, like, way into poop sex. Whoa! And by poop sex I mean that not only is he into smearing shit on tits whilst fucking, but this dude enjoys eating shit straight out of ye old poop chute. And he is quite open about it as well, which I guess one would have to be in order to find a willing partner. Total turnoff. Just thinking about it is making tumble weeds roll through the dried up wind tunnel that is my vagina.

But this contradiction led me to ask myself this: would I consent to poop sex in exchange for the best sex ever? And by this I mean, would I give in a single session of poop if I were guaranteed the best fuck of my life (at a different point in time, of course)? I can’t quite decide. It’s a toughie. What do you think? How far would you go in order to be guaranteed the best fuck?


I have lost my life to xpeeps

Check it out click and be lost forever

I use to have a life. I use to be a well respected woman who owned a business and worked for a magazine. Then Xpeeps came into my life. My life now revolves around XPEEPS. Imagine a myspace for sex. A place where you can click on a guys page and you can see his dick live and in action. I wake up and have xpeeps for breakfast. Boners are on the menu for lunch. Dinner is a nice glass of red wine with a three course meal of hard dick pics, Gigantic tits covered with cum and potential dudes Im trying to fuck and forget. I am investing at least 40 hours of my week on this site. A lot of people say that its a fake site full of fake profiles but I strongly disagree. Every day I make new female and male friends who have open minds and undone jeans. Job well done porn Gods. I'm an xpeep for life.


Vice interviews Ligerbeat!

Check it out rightchea.


Can you guess who these two people are?!

Vampire Wiseau and my very own west coast personality, Tila Tofeelher last weekend. That kiss was supposed to be mine and now its on. That must be why you have such a look of horror on your face during his cold embrace of affection and sexy ripply flesh.

Let's just see what a good time he has if he shows March 20th for the NYC The Room midnight festival.. I will play hard to get and then try my classic move of having SEXUAL TURRETS all up on him. Always works amazingly. But either way, now I am STOKED about having Tommy do a vampire porn for Liger Inc films!


Dicks In Our Box: Dr. Getsum

My life has been interesting these past few weeks.

It was a good weekend; I had sex with two guys in the past three days. Yet sometimes, this city can be so frustrating. I was prowling for some good make out action at the chicken hut party but the floor was covered with eighteen-year-old dudes. I found myself wondering, can I have sex with someone who is 10 year younger than me?

I walked over to my ladies and said, “What does a girl have to do to get laid in this city?” Right then a guy promptly walked up to me and said hello. He looked like a mixture of Beck and Napoleon Dynamite. We talked briefly and then I grabbed his hand and we went to the dance floor. After about 5 minutes of dancing I was sitting on top of him on a dirty sofa, while his cold hands caressed my warm breast.

I was wet in minutes. He told me he lived in another apartment downstairs. We guzzled down the rest of our beers quickly and rushed downstairs. The city gave me this boy as a gift and I was ready to unwrap him. We walked into his apartment, I took my hair down and we fell on his bed. I wrapped my legs around his long torso as he put his hands around my rib cage and began worshiping my tits.

There is nothing my tits like more than being worshiped, kissed and prayed upon. We kissed and laughed every few minutes and I turned his bed into a fucking lazy pool. He pulled out his dick and I got lost in a world of dick, pussy, weed and beer. I know I shouldn’t blow dudes I barely know, but fuck it! You gotta live a little, right? If I’m going to get AIDS from blowing a dude it better be the best fucking blowjob of my life.

We were about to fuck then all of the sudden my good friend showed up, DRUNK DICK! I assured him I understood I was fucking wasted as well, but pussy always works. You can't get my pussy to drunk to fuck. I fell asleep with swollen lips from kissing and warm arms around me.

I slowly woke up to him on top of me. The good morning fuck made up for the drunk dick the night before. That morning he showed me his paintings. They were good, almost good enough to make me forget the Enya that came on his stereo while we were having sex. We made breakfast together and watched Arrested Development. He told me he was leaving for a month and asked me if he could see me the next day for dinner. I told him no, I had shit to do but if he wanted to fuck he could call me around 1am. He told me that I had the sex drive of a gay man. I liked that.

He came over the next day at around 1am. We had beers and bagels with cream cheese. I am extremely attracted to him. We went upstairs and he pulled out an arsenal of condoms. He fucked me proper. Maybe I will call him again. Did I mention he was 6’3”?


The weekend as short as it is can seem extremely long when you are getting fucked by two hot dudes. I was sitting in the living room with my roommate when one of her dude’s and his drunken friends came over. It was around 2 in the morning when they stumbled into our house in search of smoke and hopeful fornication. We luckily have an abundance of both of those things. The hours got later and later and it was time for the wasted boy to go to sleep. My friend took one to her room and I was left with the other one downstairs. I am a sexaholic so I quickly ran upstairs to avoid fornication. I came back downstairs later to get the plug to my Mac so I could watch Internet TV. I saw him on the sofa and he looked at me and said in the sweetest voice "please don't make me sleep alone down here.” I told him, "fine you can sleep on the floor but I’m watching TV so don't bother me".

He looked adorable in his little underwear naked covered with tattoos.
We started talking and he told me he was from out of town, just finished his BA and was looking forward to moving to the South to live. I assured him that he was a hottie and it will be really easy to get laid in NY.

He was like the little lost puppy in the Wizard of Oz. He sat very close to me on my bed and placed his hand lightly on my bum. I was thinking do I fuck him? How drunk is this dude? Do I really want to miss this episode of 30 Rock? I checked my pussy and it was wet so I went for it.

He was waiting for me to kiss him, so I did without any hesitation. He is one of my favorite types to fuck; the spastic fuck type. He was bigger than me, so the added weight to the pressure of his dick going in my pussy was much appreciated. He had large lips and was a very sweet kisser. He begged and then demanded to go down on me. What southern girl would say no? He clenched my thighs with his hands and buried his head in my pussy.

Drunk sex is wonderful. If it wasn't for drunk sex wonderful things like a guy burping in your vagina would not be acceptable. Also sloppy making out and knocking over furniture would be much more difficult. You also have a whole new vocabulary full of filthy things that are only appropriate after several drinks. I came once that night and twice in the morning. We fucked to R. Kelly and he even let me take pictures. Thanks baby. I’m gonna make you a star. I’m going to put your dick in lights.

meet our new super cute Liger Dr. Getsum
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UFO: Unexplainable Fucking Obsession

Photo Credit: www.thefastlanetomillions.com

You know how they say you can't help who you fall in love with? Like on some star-crossed lovers shit? Or when your dorky ass had a crush on the most popular boy in class? Well meet my new unexplainable fucking obsession, Vince Offer. Better known as "the ShamWow Dude" or "the Slap Chop Guy", I can't help but find him kinda irresistible. Perhaps it is my preoccupation with all things infomercial related (ex. snuggies), but I find myself drawn to this magic huckster like a moth to the soft glow of a television set. First off, his infomercials are by far the most entertaining of any that are currently on air. While Billy May's fat bearded ass manages to wax poetic on the virtues of Oxyclean while somehow maxing out the volume on your TV set, Vince hawks his wares with a sexy, almost Groucho Marx-like panache.

Listen closely for the nuggets, as he spits them rapid fire like a one-sided rap battle. Nuggets such as "Your gonna be in a great mood all day cause your going to be slapping your troubles away", "...Now you have a nice tuna salad. Your going to have an exciting life now", and "Life's hard enough as it is, you don't want to cry anymore", when talking about an onion. A fucking onion! Genius, this man is!
My favorite is when he looks at the camera and says "Your gonna love my nuts." And you know what?
Fuck the haters, I do love his nuts.

Fuck Yeah Snugggaaaaaayyy!!

"I wish they made Snuggie porn."

Dicks in our box:What a man

I used to have a man who...

-could fuck me four times a day, for a year.
-would beg me to blow him.
-loved to rip my tank top in half as foreplay.
-I hated, which made the sex even better.
-would slip his fingers in me whenever he could.
-would go down on me while I was on the phone.
-routinely wanted me to shove my fingers in his ass while blowing him.
-I had a foursome with.
-had the most beautiful dick ever.
- traveled 6 hours for a booty call.
- loved to fuck me on my roommate's bed.
- said the most beautiful part of a woman was her "belly".

I used to have a man who would fuck me, period.

Club Animals: GRRRR

Holy Mountain Fucking SHIT!!!! I know I said it would be difficult to go Furry, but Furriness, here I come. I was beating with my ladies in the park the other day when I came across this vanilla pudding slice of white chocolate cake. I believe he is a part of some type of club called Club Animals. I am more than eager to join. I would Ryde this cute faced dog cartoon until the credits came. Liger approved.

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Dicks In Our Box: Dicksucking?

I am rather shy sexually at first. I am not totally comfortable with my naked body and being sexual. However, when I do begin to get comfortable, good things can start to happen. I have never been a fan of blowjobs. For some reason I was never into it, never thought I had the skills, never was really requested of me, so I sort of ignored that they existed. My new boy however has an amazing dick and I couldnt keep my mouth off it. I woke up the morning after all night romping and just could not help from starting my day with a nice long blow job, followed naturally by some more morning romping. I fucking love dick sucking now. Hooray! thats all...Fucking is awesome too!

Dicks In Our Box: DTF?


Oh my, apparently according to my friends I am not the nicest person when I haven’t had sex in awhile. I have this guy friend that is a little bit more than just a friend and we have been dating on off for about 6 years now. Physically he is beautiful but he is crazy, hence the reason why we have not been able to date consistently. Recently we both had decided to meet up and go on a date and have sex afterwards. But when I could not get to his place the time he wanted me there, he jerked off and I was left in the cold horny as shit (more to story too many details). Desperate, I went into my pocket and dug out an old booty call. That ended up being disastrous because that guy had smoked too much weed the night before we hooked up and kept getting tired.

So, for a week I suffered with the memory of a bad lay, good sex pasted and bloody pads (cause I was on my period). After that week, my period ended, and I ran into a good friend at Ipanema and told her the situation. She told me to text him and get that good sex I wanted. She told me that I should be able to get laid in this city no problem and just text him “dtf”? I was like really? That will work? So, I let her and her friend text him “dtf”? Cause I was kinda over it. He shouldn’t had been inpatient and I thought to myself why was he being such an ass and was he really worth my time? But when my friend told me to just text him, I realized my problem. I need to not think so much about things and just say what I want. Sex is sex, and if I want it I should ask for it. Like TLC said: “ain’t too proud to beg, nah”.

Anyways, he responds to the text and we end up sending each other sexy texts all night and making plans to fuck the next day. I wanted to kiss my friend for helping me get some, cause good sex is like chocolate cake or brownies; fucking great! I went to the guy’s place the next day, we talked, he apologized, I looked hot and then he took me to his room and started kissing me. His lips were like heaven and as he kissed me he started to take my clothes off. He took off my shirt, then my bra and let me keep my boots on. Then he laid me out on his bed and sucked on my breast and bit my nipples softly while fingering me. He put his fingers in deep when he would bite and caress my clit as well. He was like: “it this what you want”? I was like hell yeah! And then he started to lick around my pussy still fingering and alternating bites and sucking on my breast. I was so turned on and then he placed another finger slowly in my ass and I felt like my body was warming. He then kneeled over and kissed me while still alternating fingers on my clit, pussy, and butt. Amazing he was, and then he whispered in my ear: “should I get a condom”? I said, yes. But before he went to get a condom I gave him some amazing head. He got a condom turned me over and placed me doggy style with my ass hanging off the side of his bed and he was behind me. He fucked me doggy style and I could feel his balls slapping my ass. He spanked me hard and my butt jiggled and he went deeper while holding my neck. He started fucking faster and I starting cuming while he was choking me gently slapping his balls against my ass. Then he pulled me in close to him and put his dick in deep and whispered in my ear he was going to cum. His roommates were home and I am sure they heard me moan. I orgasm, and he cumed in my mouth and on my breasts.

Moral of story: dtf text works and if you want sex just say so.