I wanna make a spoof of this spoof.

How good would wait till you see my puss lips be?!


It's the freakin weekend baby bout to have me some fun.

Kelz needs to finally officially release this album in time for the summer. I need to hear people blowing their speakers out to "Two Seater" while I'm slow creepin' on my bike to the beach. I totally love how he keeps calling himself a lesbian lately. Check out his new website, you can write him a question and he'll give an audio reply on his site:

"So we want to get some more audio clips. This is a good time to ask questions. If there is a question you want to ask Kelz, just leave it here as a message and we’ll record the answer in the studio and put it up."


Obvs we need to ask him to do Ligerbeat!

And ever since the leak this has been my anthem:


Top 10 reasons why chubby dudes are the shit.

1. Can do stuff like pick you up and carry heavy shit with minimal effort.
2. Fat fingers = better fingerbangs.
3. Big ham hock thighs = more power to the push.
4. Don't leave those icky pelvic bone bruises after a marathon session.
5. Are usually a little bit more humble because they're less likely to have a bunch of superficial bitches gassing them up.
6. Fat kid mentality is cute as shit.
7. When you lay your head on their chest and there's that inch or so of chub with muscle underneath it makes the best pillow ever.
8. Are just generally more cuddly and better at making you feel surrounded.
9. Scare off creepy dudes better than skinny guys. Nothing is more embarrassing than walking down the street with your boo and getting hollered at anyways.
10. Are always down for an epic grub mission which usually makes for a pretty good bonding experience (see below).