New Years Eve... where yo dick at??

Spend your New Years with people you actually like... bring a friend and toast to another successful year... cause that's what we're doin!!

xoxo,

The Ladies Who Love You

Panty Ride Protesting Bedford Bike Lane Removal

On a serious note, ladies and gents, we need your brains. Now generally, we got our cameras on the dicks, but after the recent removal of an important and widely used bike lane in Brooklyn a panty ride is scheduled tomorrow in protest. Candy Rain, your favorite source for life, is sponsoring the event, and, we need some stats. We're looking for some specific information to combat the claim that cyclists endanger the children in that area (though many speculate the removals motives... and I don't even know where to begin on that shit)

For more information on the ride check read the blog below, or this article (or you can just google this shit, it's spread all over the walls)...http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/archives/2009/12/transportation_1.php

When was the bike lane removal approved?
How many children were injured by cyclists in that area in the past year?
Are any other bike lanes being removed for the same reason?
Are there any new bike lanes proposed?

How many cyclists in that area were hit on non-bike laned roads?
How many cyclists were hit in that area, in general?

Were there any prior complains about the bike lane? If so, what were the complaints?

Were there any complaints made by cyclists about harrasment from community members in that area?

Also, on a general note, in New York City:

Groups assembling must be kept to 50 people. If more than one group assembles, how far apart do they need to be?

Ride and Die? Screw that! Nekked Bikers Protest 12/19/09

It's a dark tale...of death, corruption, and bigotry abounding in our little corner of Brooklyn. The American youth has posted up throughout the borough, screaming as Santigold put it best; "Its our time, put the lights on us!" Its more than just a coagulation of individuals in a general age group, its a bubbling, surging brew of revolution - by no means unique, but surely needed in a time when the world community has realized...'Sh*t....that didn't work. What now?' There is a lifestyle affixed to sed revolutes: straight women with access to porn, barter employment systems, and BIKING. C'mon, no emissions, no feeding $2.25 to a transit system that can't even provide handicap access, no fat ass (ehem you know that whole obesity thing is an issue)....and the more people who ride, the less SUV congestion we have on our hands. Its sugary goodness. And if you've never taken a high speed dive through the streets of brooklyn with the wind in your respritory cavities and graffitti in your peripherals, then my friend, you are missing out on life.

As good as that all sounds, the Hasidic community of Bedford Avenue disagrees. In 2007 the city acquiesced to the pleas of Brooklyn Bikers and installed an $11,000 bike lane on Bedford Avenue; a straight safe shot to the Williamsburg Bridge (a main vein between the boroughs). However, this november the city threw another $15,000 into the proverbial toilet to SANDBLAST THE BIKE LANE OFF. Why? Well, religious pundits of the Hassidic community had claimed that the bike lane makes it hard for their gentlemen to 'avert their eyes from the scantily clad female bikers' and poses a threat to children exiting school buses. [blank stare] Its NOVEMBER! The argument is moot, we don't normally tend to ride in our skivies during the winter. And I assure you, we will see and avoid your child crossing the street because we HAVE to pay attention - but that douche in an x-terra trying to download shakira on his blackberry may not. Seeing as this cash and submission came up curiously around an election, we'd like to share a few thoughts with Bloomberg, pundits and Community:

1). We are not dumb. Good work on making that corruption so blatant, it makes your argument void. Just admit that there is some ironic discrimination against a cultural group going on from the curly side.
2). Hasidic Community: You would like to pray as you wish AND NOT GET MURDERED. We would like to ride as we wish AND NOT GET MURDERED. Can we work on NOT GETTING MURDERED TOGETHER?! I beseech this community to remember those WE have lost (and ps my family tree has some digit tats too). Observe the Ghost Bikes popping up in and around the Williamsburg Bridge in rapid succession. Those are fallen brothers and sisters dood, killed by cars who decided they have more of a right to life and way.
3). Calling all Revolutionaries!! JOIN OUR FELLOW CANDY RAINER, HEATHER LOOP, IN PROTEST THIS SATUDAY. Attendees will be riding on the here-today-gone-tomorrw path in only their UNDERWEAR as a snarky call-out of that lie. For details, check this MSNBC Article. Support our right to RIDE! And peep the REVOLUTIONARIES who repainted the bike lane and were later arrested by the two-faced powers that be. (I hate when the term vigilante is misused - we are not punishing the Hasidic Community, we are protecting our lives)!

(heather loop 2nd to left)

Text Book Definitions:

Vigilante - A vigilante is someone who illegally punishes someone for perceived offenses, or participates in a group which metes out extrajudicial punishment to such a person. Often the victims are criminals in the legal sense, however a vigilante may follow a different definition of criminal than the local law.
Members of community watch programs and others who use legal means of bringing people to justice are not considered vigilantes. For example, in 1979 Curtis Sliwa founded the Guardian Angels in New York City, a recognized crime fighting organization that now has chapters in many other cities. See also citizen's arrest.

Revolutionary - A revolutionary is a person who either actively participates in, or advocates revolution.[1] Also, when used as an adjective, the term revolutionary refers to something that has a major, sudden impact on society or on some aspect of human endeavour.

Bigotry - A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices.
The correct use of the term requires the elements of obstinacy, irrationality, and animosity toward those of differing devotion. The origin of the word bigot and bigoterie in English dates back to at least 1598, via Middle French, and started with the sense of "religious hypocrite". Forms of bigotry may have a related ideology or world views.

'Til Next Time - Rubbin' Out

xxLylaDurdeNxx

Will You Be My Number 2

Kels really kills it with this track. You have to listen to it off his myspace right now. I looked up the lyrics and this is what I found straight off metro lyrics. Perhaps written by the man himself.

It’s his best track since trapped in the Closet in my opinion. Peep my thoughts in bold.



Be My Number Two

verse 1:

i could never be ya boyfriend

cuz uu knoe ii gotta speacil girl

(yeap, exactly as I copied it)

nd ii cud never be ya husband

but dht dnt mean uu still dnt rock ma world

nd ii can uu take uu to an island

(what the hell is with the double u)

we can be there just the two of us

god ii love to see uu smilin

all i ask is that you keep it hushed



chorus:

be ma #2

gurl i love you

be my #2

gurl i need you

be my #2

gurl ur so fine (I think he says "so phat" first?) (so fine)

be my #2

but you will never be my #1 (echo x3)



verse 2:

ii cud take you out to dinner

but theres a couple places we wont go

cuz #1 is a beginner

nd theres a couple things that she dnt knoe

(right? is ths shrt hnd?)

so i can take you to a hotel

we can be there just the two of us

gurl i love you cuz uu dnt tell

nd uu knoe how to keep it hush hush



chorus:

be ma #2

gurl i love you

be my #2

gurl i need you

be my #2

gurl ur so fine (so fine)

be my #2

but you will never be my #1 (echo x3)



hook:

The way you give it to me

ii gotta have it (have it)

cuz shes ma beauty queen

nd ur ma have it (haa--aave it)

(habbit?)

so baby.....



chorus:

be ma #2 (yea)

gurl i love you (ooo i love you)

be my #2

gurl i need you (gurl ii need you)

be my #2

gurl ur so fine (so fine)

be my #2

but you will never be my #1 (echo x3)

It may sound crazii

be my number 2

ur my second baby

be my number 2

???????????????

wud uu lyke to me ma number 2



(oooo.oooooooo.oooooooooooo.)





listen to me

though i love your sex

i cant.i cant leave her

(nono)

though ya ass is incredbile (incredible)

i cnt.i cnt leave her

(nono)

see

we cud have fun

nd we cud do things gurl

we can do anything uu wnt

nd do it all night long

uu cud be ma number 2

uu cud be ma number 2

ii wanna hve some fun with you (yea!)

nd she dnt have to know

all the thounges (WHAT?) behind doors

(yeaaaa.ooooyea ooo)



For whatever reason he leaves out the best part! So I included it:

Dj Wayne Williams

I see you baby

Untitled ya’ll

Dance

Like you just don’t care, haha

Oh, we gone with this one, we out of here with this one.

Ummm,,,to all you hating motherfuckers, yeah. All you hating motherfuckers.uhhuh,

All you hating motherfuckers, slap. Slap. Slap. Slap.


One of the best comments on the youtube of that song was something along the lines of "Kels, after getting in trouble for dropping number one on a young ass bitch; don't drop a number 2!" Well, I think that is just how I read it but you get the idea. Regardless Kelz is my number 1! The lyrics above remind me of a string a text messages I got late one night after a Candy Rain party. I wish I still had them in my phone but I will try to do them justice.


random text: I wanna show my dick

me: who is this?

RT: genitulla neffu

Now how did I forget a man named Genitulla Neffu?

m: who?

it took a minute but then I realized he was probably talking about this dude that I call "genitalia." I am party-deaf and the first time I meet him I made him say his mame abou 5 times and every time I heard Genitalia.
"Do you know Genitalia?"

RT: yea, he my ukle

Ohhhh. ok. So you want to show your dick?

p.s. I'm wasted right now and I shouldn't be hating on grammar, especially since I almost spelled that like aligating on grammar.

WOrk IT OuT, Get IT IN, LeT the GIviNg BEGIN!

Oh good sweet Cuddle Puddle ladies!!! Anya, this rock* solid suprah* bada* ss* chica that performed this good ole' little splitsey-hoo at our last Candy Rain party (and gots this baby thug in the bottom left corner in awe of the AWEsome POWaHssssssssssss of WOOman!!), Needs our HELP! House of Yes, the oddity of outrageous glory, standby staple of cheeky fantasy in the B*rookLawn[vietnam] commmuniTee, is in need of sponsors. And hey lad*es, havin' this act thowin' down with the CandyRa*n RainBows & Unicorn Shockers NYE@BeautyBar Brooklyn sounds pretty sweet - Check out the goodies that come along with MESSIAH status (and scope the amazing precursor email ;)>~~~~:

"Begin forwarded message:

From: anya@rock*solid suprah*bad*ss*chica <http://www.houseofyes.org/support>

To: ligerbeat@gmail.com

Subject: Hey Lady!!!

My boyfriend was pretty blown away by the chains action at that crazy party the other night.

you have a mad loud voice. is there any place you could plug our online fundraiser drive?? pretty please? i'll get half naked and climb a chain for you for life!

xoxo

-anya
------------------------------

------------------
To the ones we love,

Over the past year and a half we have accomplished the impossible. Starting at a disadvantage of having nothing due to a completely destructive four alarm fire in April 2008, we then set out to renovate a raw building with limited resources. After shedding blood, sweat and tears we miraculously finished construction ahead of schedule in December 2008. Dozens of people have put into making the House of Yes the vibrant place it is today, and with your support we will grow even stronger.

We are in urgent need of raising $17,000 by December 12th, 2009.
For details on the fundraiser and to donate see: http://www.houseofyes.org/support/

With sold-out shows, constant rehearsals and events happening six days a week, the House of Yes fills a crucial role in a community of hundreds. The facilities at Yes simply don't exist anywhere else in a way that is financially accessible to such a large and varied community. In order to survive and continue to expand to serve the community better, we are looking to raise new capital to complete urgent improvements and to ensure the financial stability of the space. Every week dozens of artists, workers and performers donate dozens of hours it all going. It's a labor of love. Giving up, or losing momentum is not in our vocabulary. We know we can do this, but we desperately need your help.

Because your support means so much to us, we have put together some great "Thank You" packages for everyone who donates. All donations are tax deductible, as we are sponsored by a 501c3 not for profit Artistic Evolution. If you are unable to give you can still help us tremendously by spreading the word about the House of Yes and everything that happens here to anyone who might help in any way.

There are four levels of support. Choose the one that fits you best:

Be a Messiah...
...donate $1,000 to ensure our survival.

All Messiah level donors get:

• A Rockstar Night with the Lady Circus! The ladies of Lady Circus will pick you up in a stretch limousine (donated for the night by Stan the Limo Man) to travel to North East Kingdom in Brooklyn for a free dinner and drinks, then to Carnival NYC for comped entry, two bottles of vodka (the good stuff) and rockstar treatment by the carnival performers, the ladies of Lady Circus the creators of TheDanger.com and other all-stars. This will be a night to remember (unless you hit the vodka too hard.)
• Free VIP Admission to all House of Yes event for EVER! Anytime we are hosting a party or performance, your name will be on the list. Skip the line and pay nothing to everything hosted at the house for the rest of your natural life.
• A big thank you with your name (or your company/organization name) on our website. We will show how much we appreciate your support in the most public way possible.
• A Signed House of Yes T-Shirt. They look rad.

Be a Super-Hero...
...donate $500 to help improve the space.

All Super-Hero level donors get:

• Free VIP Admission to all House of Yes event for a YEAR! Anytime we are hosting a party or performance, your name will be on the list. Skip the line and pay nothing to everything hosted at the house for one entire year!
• A big thank you with your name (or your company/organization name) on our website. We will show how much we appreciate your support in the most public way possible.
• A Signed House of Yes T-Shirt. You are too cute NOT to have one of these shirts.

Be a RockStar...
...donate $100 so we can keep the lights on.

All Rockstar level donors get:

• Free VIP Admission to all House of Yes events through New Years Eve! Come FREE to our Christmas Spectacular, No Parking on the Dance Floor, or any of the dozen shows we have scheduled through the end of the year.
• Four comped entries to TheDanger's New Years Eve party! Two spaces, a dozen dj's, performances by the Lady Circus and more all for free for you and four friends.
• A big thank you with your name (or your company/organization name) on our website. We will show how much we appreciate your support in the most public way possible.
• A Signed House of Yes T-Shirt. All the cool kids are wearing them. Where is yours?

Be Awesome
...donate $20 so we can make it till' next week.

All Awesome level donors get:

• A big thank you with your name (or your company/organization name) on our website. We will show how much we appreciate your support in the most public way possible.
• A House of Yes T-Shirt This shirt is worth like $85. You actually make a profit on this deal.
• You get two entries into our Christmas Spectacular drawing. We will be hosting an award drawing with two dozen amazing gifts at the close of our Christmas Spectacular Show: Saturday, December 12th. Gifts include: a Rockstart Night with the Lady Circus, free Yoga Classes, fine-art prints, comped entrance to many different parties and more!

Please, donate here: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=9973076


Thank you sincerely for your support. Without you, none of this would be possible."

Til' Next Time - Rubbin' Out

xxLylaDurdeNxx

Willie the Warlock

This man is dangerous ladies....very, very dangerous. Who knew Unicorn shockers and Pixie Dust would complement a bow-tie ensemble so well? Le Sigh...

Til Next Time - Rubbin' Out
xxLylaDurdeNxx

dick pics for you from miami

with love!

-drea

NPH as Frosty the Blowman

Oh Neil Patrick Harris, how I adore thee. You've tried to destroy the world, you've branded a hooker's ass, and now...now...you are a dirty old snowball. Good times!

xxLylaDurdeNxx

DICK TOWEL

http://dicktowel.com/dicktowel.html

Ready, Set, XXX-MAS/Coitukah/Kamazaa!!!!

Well, here it is - 'tis the season once again. The air is a chilly like a lady with no willy and there are lists and plans aplenty to be made. Here's what I've got goin' on so far:

1.) Slip an especially dirrrty remix of 'Santa Baby' into the looping snoozfestival that is the office 'Holiday Soundtrack'. (Priority #1!)

2.) Plan a Pornament Party with the gals; inspired by this lovely 'piece' of work on etsy by madame Silletto . And hey, who needs to roast chestnuts when you can cast, mold, and hang them in ribboned glory about the house for your inlaws? EnvironMolds has a great how-to articles and shopping links. Seeing as how there is a definite lack of dick menorahs on the market - me 'n the ladies may have to make our own.

3.) Cook up some Sugar and Spice for my boys on lists 'Naughty' and 'Nice'. For the trolls of old, perhaps The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus by Violet Blue would make an excellent Kwanzaa Zawadi. Or better yet, for the rrreally old ex, perhaps this man girdle is order. But for Mister(s) Nice, Tim Butler at askmen.com has put together a titillatingly tantalizing list of Christmas Sex Positions; the elfin frolicking with helium sounds like an especially uproarious time.

4.) Gear up for the Candy Rain Magazine New Year's party!! Details to come soon!

The count down has begun, Ladies!

Til Next Time - Rubbin' Out
xxLyla DurdeNxx