Lack of Sex In America


I was very excited when I found out Durex was holding a Global Survey of sexual activity. I was one of 26,000 respondents to share their weekly satisfaction. As a Virginian born and bred I love my country. I knew that it would be a long shot for us to be number one but come on we didn't even make it to the top three. Come on Ligers lets step up the game. Poland is ranked before us. Poland? Seriously. I am changing the name of this survey to THE TOP VACATION DICK DESTINATIONS. So first on our road trip is Greece with a 87 percent weekly satisfaction rate. Brazil is sexually dancing right behind with 82 percent followed by Russia, China and then Poland. The United States of sexual frustration put out at 53% putting us at 19 on the list.

I will not stand for this. As your elected first lady of fornication I promise you these hard times will past. Or should I say these soft times will get hard. They will get harder and harder until we have exhausted all means to satisfy you.

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1 comment:

  1. that photo nearly made me pee laughing. roadtriiiiiip!