All-out ass panic alert!!!!

Basically, this shit is guaranteed to be off the goddamn chain. On the ones and twos, and occasionally on the mic, we got ass-shaking expertologist and Ligerbeat homeboy DJ Dirty Finger back for one week only from his travels abroad, Ligerbabe Jasmine Solano, that studly Reverend McFly, the strapping DJ Stache, crazian hotties the Notorious MSG, Ligerbeat "DO" Ye Olde Gay Wizard AKA Ryder Ripps, and issue one cover boy Porkchop as Blackanova himself.

We'll be giving away free jimmy hats, you can enter a raffle to win some dildos and shit, you can take cheesy photos in front of our hoodrich backdrop, you can cop an issue for yourself or any dick-loving friends you might have, you can watch hot bitches roll around on rolleskates, and, most importantly, you can rock that body, because you had better believe that we will be getting looser than a project ho in a camo dress on prom night.

Hope to see you there!

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