Someone Told Jackie Collins She Slept With A Beatle.

Kathy sleeps with dudes for donuts and Jackie Collins thinks she slept with John Lennon. Love it!

Free Danger Caught on Tape

Tonight at the Market Hotel at 9pm. $5, all proceeds go towards showpaper, NYC's free local music showlisting zine. Our girl Susan Juvet and her mans laced together their favorite Youtube videos and we are stoked to see it because homegirl is just about as Ligerbeat as they come. With stand-up at intermission! Come through and support your local labies doin' thangs.

You can find the trailer rightchea.

Babies Creep Me Out

For serious, lesson duly noted.

Robocock, Roboload Pt. 2!

While doing my daily interweb perusing I came upon this video from the mind-blowingly awesome artist Micheal Sullivan. This video, which could proudly be called any artist's magnum opus, is apparently too crass for the stuck up prudes at youtube. So it is now being hosted by Wired magazine, which is actually a much cooler read than I had expected. It's kinda sad that youtube felt good art that depicted graphic robot sex would somehow sully their reputation. Surriously? One of your most watched videos of all time is Spongebob doing the Soulja Boy.
GET THE FUCK WITH IT.
Ps: Jk, I love you youtube.

Giant Gaping Sphincter Discovered in Japan

Holy fuck! What the fuck is that thing?! This mystery butthole creature was ostensibly discovered by three drunken Japanese simpletons, who proceeded to penetrate it with sticks and give it a crucial beer enemas for the better part of what seems like half an hour. My better judgement wants to call hoax on it, but actual me needs to believe in the existence of giant frilly pink sucking buttholes.
Please God, I've never asked for much, but I NEED this.
Click the picture to watch the video.

Being Safe Is Adorable!

This durex commercial is fucking cute.

UFO: Unexplainable Fucking Obsession

Photo Credit: www.thefastlanetomillions.com

You know how they say you can't help who you fall in love with? Like on some star-crossed lovers shit? Or when your dorky ass had a crush on the most popular boy in class? Well meet my new unexplainable fucking obsession, Vince Offer. Better known as "the ShamWow Dude" or "the Slap Chop Guy", I can't help but find him kinda irresistible. Perhaps it is my preoccupation with all things infomercial related (ex. snuggies), but I find myself drawn to this magic huckster like a moth to the soft glow of a television set. First off, his infomercials are by far the most entertaining of any that are currently on air. While Billy May's fat bearded ass manages to wax poetic on the virtues of Oxyclean while somehow maxing out the volume on your TV set, Vince hawks his wares with a sexy, almost Groucho Marx-like panache.

Listen closely for the nuggets, as he spits them rapid fire like a one-sided rap battle. Nuggets such as "Your gonna be in a great mood all day cause your going to be slapping your troubles away", "...Now you have a nice tuna salad. Your going to have an exciting life now", and "Life's hard enough as it is, you don't want to cry anymore", when talking about an onion. A fucking onion! Genius, this man is!
My favorite is when he looks at the camera and says "Your gonna love my nuts." And you know what?
Fuck the haters, I do love his nuts.

Fuck Yeah Snugggaaaaaayyy!!

"I wish they made Snuggie porn."

Pepa is my role model.

I just got in a Youtube hole right quick and stumbled across this totally excellent heavy metal version of the Salt'n'Pepa classic "None of Your Business." This song has been one of my personal anthems since long before I even had the experience to understand how serious the real talk is in this jam. And I don't know if you guys watched their reality show last year, but Pepa is seriously that bitch. Salt got all Christian and wanted to clean up some of the verses on their reunion tour and Pepa was like, fuck all that noise, I am a nasty motherfucker and people need to hear this shit. Swoon. So take a a moment to behold this awesomeness.

Oversexed Ladies Doin Their Thing

Robots in Disguise The Sex Has Made Me Stupid



Nicky Click Don't Call Me Baby

Nicky Click is serious business. This super sassy girl from Olympia brings to life her red and black lace dream world with songs that deal with female identity, dancing hard and being comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. I give her two cocks up. www.nickyclick.com



www.robotsindisguise.co.uk

masonroselee

Show Me Your Genitals!

Jon Lajoie, we have similar life philosophies.

Except about penixes.

PS, we love you.