As young pornographers and sex enthusiasts, the Ligerbeat team was more than excited when we found out there was a Sex in America lecture happening at the New York Open Center co-sponsored by Huffington Post. The idea of sitting in a room full of people who have potentially all had orgasms in the last 24 hours makes a girl feel right at home. Plus, I mean come on, sitting in a room of people who love talking about sex as much as we do sounds pretty dope.
The lecture, which was actually more of an open conversation, was led by sex superdiva author Esther Perel, with a panel full of sex geniuses chiming in. There was a motley crew of individuals all seeming very eager for the discussion to begin. We made our way to VIP (big ups to the lovely Gail Johnson), whipped out our pens and notebooks, and began Ligerbeating.
We were asked what social conversation we would like to see happening, and what issues are currently being dealt with. Each of the varied panel judges gave their opinion.
Dickalicious author Cory Silverberg had interest in obsession with sexual individualism and the much-needed change in sex education, as well as sex laws and the way that sexual offenders are dealt with. As he put it, there's a lot of sexual conversation going on in America, but the mainstream media is doing a shitty job of creating a larger dialogue.
Sextastic Leonore Tiefer, a longtime professor and sex educator at NYU, feels the idea of sex should not be taught as something that is natural, . As part of a greater effort to change public opinions on sex from what it was in the fifties--shameful, demonized--to something we can talk about, many sex educators have preached that it's "natural" to have sex. But the problem with that, according to Dr. Tiefer, is that putting that label on sex pushes us to define and normalize it, when sex is not something that can be universally defined. It's different for every single person on this earth. It actually blew my mind when she was talking about the sociohistoric conceptions of sex. Good stuff.
Amy Sohn, sex blogger and columnist, touched on some really interesting issues about mating versus breeding and the misconceptions of sex and marriage. I was really interested in the topic of keeping a good sex life after 50 years of marriage and the roles of women all throughout their sexual and dating growth. The unrealistic 1950's image and expectations that is being shoved down the throats of Americans needs to stop and I completely agree.
Cunnilingus contortionist Ian Kerner, PhD and author of She Comes First talked about the lack of sex in America. He felt that couples do not talk about sex on an open normal level. He had some great things to say about the retarded levels of censorship he faced on his book tour--like how when he went on morning tv and they wouldn't show the title of his book. He also writes about a pussy-eating master move called the rope-a-dope lick. I'm not sure what it's all about but it sounds awesome. Pussies all over the world moisten at the mere mention of its name.
Clearly it was an amazing night. We talked about desire and love. Everyone called for a better sexual education model. We discussed infidelity and views of sex in other countries. We talked about the lack of women in the pornography field and we ensured the crowd that we were taking the porn world over. It was such a good night and we even got to meet sex glamazon Candida Royalle, founder of Femme Productions, who was wearing a pair of fishnets I would die for. There were lots of opinions there, but one thing we all agreed on: there's not enough people talking about sex. We give it so much power but there are so many couples who don't even communicate about what they do and don't like! If everyone knew the right way to ask to get their o-face on, there would be no beef. Like, ever.
People were really amped about the Beat. We have never felt so loved and we met some pretty crazy peeps. Beating has never been better.
mason rose lee